Ladies, ladies, ladies or should I call you ‘mangoko’ as the evolved sheng nation does these days.
I call you thrice like the bible states Jesus called Lazarus to rise from the dead. I am here to resurrect you from the death you brought upon ourselves.
I am here to say “ukiachwa achika!” I know it is our nature to always forgive. But even Albert Einstein said “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.”
This is where I ask your pride and ego to rise from the ashes and accept and move on after a break-up or divorce. After all, there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
A break-up or being dumped hurts in all the wrong places and it can even make you physically sick, disoriented. Many would start thinking of what to do to convince him or her that you will go back to the haven that you had.
Reality check! If you have been dumped or you’re the dumper and start sitting in your pool of loneliness, thinking “maybe I was wrong…maybe I was too harsh… Maybe if I ‘danced’ the way s/he wanted we could still be an item?”. That is a red alert right there. You are going through the process the wrong way.
Peculiarly, I am here to advocate for the pain! Go through the pain, cry every night in a row if that is how hard you are feeling but don’t call back and say this words… ‘Take me back please’. Feeling the hurt has its own advantages because it only makes you stronger, and eventually, get over with.
Listen here, I am not saying cry and jeopardize what you have good going for yourself like friends, work and probably a startup that needs you to be on your “A” game. Cry in the toilet at work wipe your tears walk head high after.
The bottom line is, don’t ignore the nightmare, its part of your reality, so deal with it woman and heal but don’t go back to your effing vomit. If you spat him/her out then you had a pretty good reason to, so just know it will never be the same.
Take all the time you need to heal, it may take months but go through all of it and don’t look for comfort elsewhere cause naturally that seems like the best way to mask the pain. Am here to loudly but firmly say don’t bloody do it Queen. Joke’s on you babe, it will hurt even more when you don’t get what you want from your rebound.
In the recent past, the country has witnessed astonishing yet sad cases of estranged lovers trying to get back together, only for it to end tragically.
Just last week, detectives launched investigations and hunt for a man who is accused of killing his girlfriend before setting the body on fire in Njiru, Nairobi County.
It is reported that Margaret Muchemi had invited her estranged boyfriend to talk about issues affecting their relationship and to iron out their differences.
A report filed by the deceased’s two house helps say that the suspect arrived at around 8 am on Thursday, and their boss gave them time off, “saying that the ex-boyfriend wanted some privacy as they addressed their stalemate.”
Later on in the afternoon, the house was seen in flames, and even after efforts to put out the fire, nothing was salvaged, not even the deceased!
This is only one such case where trying to get back together has ended with the loss of life. How about those that have not been reported countrywide?
So go through the rejection and take it like the strong woman you are. Welcome yourself to the panic room where all your darkest fears will manifest, accept and overcome. Denial will come running but eventually after going through hell and back on a daily eve when you feel the loneliness, the hurt, the ugly flavour of the break up, well, the dead have risen before sister and you will rise from this stronger than running back. ‘Ukiachwa Achika nguko’.